Confessions of a Christian III

Confessions of a Christian III

There is this scripture found in Matthew 17:20 where Jesus is explaining to the disciples that because of their lack of faith they could not cast out the demons… he says :

“For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”

Now, here is the thing I am certain I have greater faith then that of a mustard seed. No man can put me under the label of a doubter or question my lack of faith, for faith I have ( maybe not to the same degree as Abraham did who is the Father of our faith Romans 4:16), but I know I have more than a mustard seed. So now with Matthew 17:20 I brought my petition to the Lord and argued that He should heal me, then when it came to mind that I was already healed at Calvary 2000 years ago my petition then became a declaration in order that I should receive the healing that had been granted to me through the resurrection of Jesus Christ and I had scripture to back up every statement I made in my petition……………………………….BUT………………………….nothing.

Instead of seeing some sort of miraculous healing , there was more evidence to show I was getting sicker and sicker. So what had happened? Did my faith waiver? Did I not believe? Even in such a situation no man or creature could ever have accused me of not having faith, I concluded that there must be something not right with my petition but what was it. I took back my petition and took the most medically sound judgment regarding my health, but I did not forget what had happened during that period of spiritual campaigning.

My faith alone could not move the mountain

Today, as I decided to write this blog and confess of my inability to become healed and my failed campaign I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before…. verse 21

“However, this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting”

I know that this scripture was in reference to the casting out of demons, but I couldn’t help think about my earlier campaigning. Yes, I had biblical evidence and knowledge about the crucifixion to know that the healing was mine and that it had already been given to me, but I was struggling to receive that healing. I’ve explained in a previous post about how when we make a prayer request it is like ordering from Amazon, we have paid for the produce, the receipt we receive online is further evidence that the item is ours however, this item must be moved from a warehouse to our house before we have full ownership of it and within that process we have a tracking number to ensure it arrives well. Our prayer requests are similar, the receipt ie. The Bible is evidence that we own the product requested, however it must be shipped from heavens warehouse to our physicial/ spiritual house. However, here is the thing, I didn’t follow up with prayer or fasting, I knew my healing was somewhere in heaven’s warehouse but I didn’t know who made that healing I didn’t have access to his phone number, I barley looked over His company website nor read the fine prints. Here I was thinking I could walk up to the manufacturers office without an advisor, someone who knows about the protocols of the company and knows the best way to reach the manufacturer, someone who has the manufactures number on speed dial.

I was intending to walk on water without the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26 says ‘The spirit also joins to help in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us…’. I had faith to know the battle had already been won but I had forgotten to bring my lawyer with me to court. Prayer is much more than communication to the Father, it is a reminder that without him the impossible remain impossible and it realigns our position to His so that we may be reminded that it is not by our own strength or might that mountains move, it is our remembrance of His awesomeness, a reverance of His majesty and glory , not ours , that makes the moutain move.

me trying to tell the mountain to move

Did I ask you to grow tomatoes?

Did I ask you to grow tomatoes?

Some years back I was listening to a sermon by Joyce Meyer, within that sermon she began to talk about how lovely her neighbours garden was, and how perfectly manicured her lawn was and how whatever plant her neighbour grew would just look so astonishing, whilst hers was a mess. So one day she decided that she (Meyer), was going to grow beautiful tomatos comparable to her neighbour’s, she brought manure , studied how to properly seed the tomatoes and prayed for these seeds night and day but sadly nothing. Whilst her neighbours plants continued to flourish her’s looked diseased ( adding my own interpretation to the story for entertainment value). She became incredibly fustrated

“Why can’t I grow these bloody things!” she exclaimed

It didn’t take long til she turned her frustrations onto God, wasn’t she a minster, wasn’t she more spiritual than her neighbour, had she not prayed for her tomatoes to grow well ?

“God why can’t I grow nice tomatoes like my neighbour?” she asked, not long after she spoke a voice dropped into her heart

“Did I ask you to grow tomatoes?”

All this time she had been getting frustrated by something she didn’t even need to do.

In Zimbabwe ( where I am from), when you buy new furniture you buy it pre-made all you have to do is move it in, however, in England ( where I live), when you buy furniture it arrives in components that you have to assemble to get the desired product. A lot of the times, these do-it-yourself furnitures come with instructions that IF ( and that is a BIG ‘IF’) we choose to follow can get the furntiure assembled quickly but I’m sure many of us have by-passed the instruction manual or have missed a step and found ourselves trying to wedge two seperate components together that shouldn’t even be touching one another, we become fustrated at the manufacurer deeply regretting the day you thought it a nice idea to buy that piece of furntiure, or in the case of Joyce Meyer getting fustrated at our inability to do something we didn’t need to do particulaly when the instuction manual aka God never told you to piece those compnents together . I’m sure that all of you are smart and can understand the moral of the story, that we should really let God lead.

Wisdom is letting God lead you not vice versa. People tend to say that knowledge is power but I say knowledge is a key to wisdom, because no matter how much we know that if God leads all is well, no matter how much we know that the manufacturers provided us with a detailed correct instruction manual or that God never told us to plant tomatoes we still do the opposite. We are told countless times in the Bible to pursue biblical wisdom, ‘to get wisdom, get understanding… for she will watch over you’ (Proverbs 4:5-6), an entire book is dedicated to wisdom and her ways. A fool is not a fool because he has no knowlegde ,he is a fool because he chooses to not apply wisdom. The level of wisdom one has determines how they use their knowledge let me give an example:

We know we must study to pass our exams, we also know that we must give time to study long before the exam so that the learned information is retained. Yet a fool chooses to do all their studying the night before despite knowing that it’s not the best option.

I love a particular song by a Jesus culture, called ‘where you go I go’ because of the lyrics:

“Jesus only did what he saw you do, He would only say what He heard You Speak, He would only move when He felt you lead”

This was the wisdom Jesus had when he was on Earth, He knew nothing could happen unless he was totally dependent on God. Unless God tells you to there is no point to do it… it’s not that planting tomatoes is a bad activity it’s rather enjoyable in my opinion, but should the activity take you away from the glory or remove you from His presence then it is not great and we then need to re-adjust our reasoning for starting the activity.

Humility & Pride

Humility & Pride

I apologise if there is no particular structure in the following post…

To tell you the honest truth, I have been procrastinating particularly in regards to this topic, the number of times I have written, deleted and re-written this article within the last months is honestly a bit embarrassing. It has been such a struggle to write ( but then again what post of mine hasn’t), I mean… I have so many topics listed that I want to share with you all but I am honestly struggling to start. Which brings me back to the difficulty I have found starting this post. At first when I thought to write on the topic of humility I thought to explore people in the Bible who showed great humility like Moses or Joseph ( Jesus’ step-father) or to explore how God humbled Joseph in preparation for his position as the Prime Minister of Egypt but then I realised that perhaps Joseph was a far humbler man than I. So instead I thought to divert my attention and look at pride instead – the opposite of humility.

A few years ago as I was praying, God told me that I needed to address the pride that was in me, I was slightly taken aback,

“Pride! What Pride?”

Considering that I really didn’t think of myself of any high status or of any value, I didn’t understand what God was telling me but I prayed nonetheless that there would be no trace of pride in me. There was a desire to be closer to God and I knew that being ‘humble’ is what God wants us to be but I didn’t quite understand its definition. When we look at the dictionary definition of the word Humble it says:

‘the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance’

To me being humble meant admitting you have no worth, my distorted definition of the word was literally this ” God formed me from dust and that is what I am dust”. We may have been formed from dust but that is not what we are now, we don’t look at a bowl or vase as say it is mud so we can not look at ourselves and say we are dust when we are now children of God. As I am writing this I am laughing to myself as I think I now understand Matthew 25: 14-21 a bit better in terms of pride. In the passage found in Matthew, Jesus gives a parable of a master who gave talents/ money to his slaves, to one he gave 5 talents another 3 and the third 1. Whilst the first 2 made great returns with their talents the third buried his in the ground, so when the master came back it is hardly surprising to know that he wasn’t impressed by the third guy, but one thing which I didn’t quite understand is why he would call the slave ‘EVIL’. The slave’s sin was not that he didn’t make a profit but that he had pride, the pride to assume that he knew His masters intent:

“Then the man with the $1,000 came and said, ‘Sir, I knew you were a hard man, and I was afraid you would rob me of what I earned, so I hid your money in the earth and here it is!’

Matthew 25: 24-25 (TLB)

“There is no point in me doing anything because your just going to take all the glory for it whilst I did all the hard work”

In many ways my attitude was and probably is still like that: ” there is no point to doing anything as I am only dust, if God had wanted to make me great he would have made me from gold and not dust, therefore, God cannot do anything of significance on me, (do you hear the attitude!!). Though I have never said it like that I have gone to God many times saying:

“God I can not do this because… I can’t talk to them because I am… I know myself God and I can not do ….. I can’t tell you about this small thing because why on Earth would you care… God deal with the more important stuff whilst I deal with this”. I never quite fully let go of any burdens within me and allowed him to do what only he could do, my attitude was that God is going to take-away or just not respond to anything I have so with that mindset how could I submit to him wholeheartedly if I am holding back. I think I understand why it has taken me so long to write this post as this is an area of my life that God is still working on me (excuse the pun).

LESSON 10 : Psalmody international School of Worship Level 2

LESSON 10 : Psalmody international School of Worship Level 2

I was just reading Lesson 10 from the Psalmody international school of worship in preparation for this weeks blog, but I really wanted to write this. I knew that King David was a man who reverenced the Lord and worshiped Him wholeheartedly and that we as Christians are called to follow after his example of praise and worship. But, what I didn’t know (something which I have taken from Lesson 10) that King David instituted a revolutionary change of worship by replacing animal sacrifices for spiritual ones of thanksgiving and praise and ministering before the presence of God. Prior only High Priests had access to the Ark of the Covenant (please take a look at this post for more information) , but now David appointed Levites to bring to remeberance through their acts of thanksgiving of the works God had done for his people. So here is the Psalm of thanksgiving that transformed worship in the tabernacle and it is one we can all proclaim in our lives:

1 Chronicles 16: 8-36 (HCSB)

Give thanks to Yahweh; call on His name;
proclaim His deeds among the peoples.
Sing to Him; sing praise to Him;
tell about all His wonderful works!
10 Honor His holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek Yahweh rejoice.
11 Search for the Lord and for His strength;
seek His face always.
12 Remember the wonderful works He has done,
His wonders, and the judgments He has pronounced,[a]
13 you offspring of Israel His servant,
Jacob’s descendants—His chosen ones.

14 He is the Lord our God;
His judgments govern the whole earth.
15 Remember His covenant forever—
the promise He ordained for a thousand generations,
16 the covenant He made with Abraham,
swore[b] to Isaac,
17 and confirmed to Jacob as a decree,
and to Israel as an everlasting covenant:
18 “I will give the land of Canaan to you
as your inherited portion.”

19 When they[c] were few in number,
very few indeed, and temporary residents in Canaan
20 wandering from nation to nation
and from one kingdom to another,
21 He allowed no one to oppress them;
He rebuked kings on their behalf:
22 “Do not touch My anointed ones
or harm My prophets.”

23 Sing to the Lord, all the earth.
Proclaim His salvation from day to day.
24 Declare His glory among the nations,
His wonderful works among all peoples.

25 For the Lord is great and highly praised;
He is feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
but the Lord made the heavens.
27 Splendor and majesty are before Him;
strength and joy are in His place.
28 Ascribe to the Lord, families of the peoples,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
29 Ascribe to Yahweh the glory of His name;
bring an offering and come before Him.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness;
30 tremble before Him, all the earth.

The world is firmly established;
it cannot be shaken.
31 Let the heavens be glad and the earth rejoice,
and let them say among the nations, “The Lord is King!”
32 Let the sea and everything in it resound;
let the fields and all that is in them exult.
33 Then the trees of the forest will shout for joy before the Lord,
for He is coming to judge the earth.

34 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
His faithful love endures forever.
35 And say: “Save us, God of our salvation;
gather us and rescue us from the nations
so that we may give thanks to Your holy name
and rejoice in Your praise.
36 May Yahweh, the God of Israel, be praised
from everlasting to everlasting.”

Then all the people said, “Amen” and “Praise the Lord.”

LESSON 9 : Psalmody international School of Worship Level 2

LESSON 9 : Psalmody international School of Worship Level 2
This is my recap of lesson 9 of the course which I have decided to follow, this is not intended to be a full article or bible study but is just me picking out the key topics and themes I got from Lesson 9.

Prayer and Worship

We often forget that we are spiritual beings and the God we serve is Spirit (John 4:24) therefore we must worship him in Spirit (John 4:24). Unfortunately, we sadly rely on our physical state rather than our spiritual. We believe in things that we see, hear and do with our physical bodies and have greater trust in this then the things our spirit-man see’s , hears and does. What this means, is that our worship does not quite reach the standard of worship God expects from us. We believe that our physical actions hold greater value then our spiritual actions because we can see the entire process of the work we do, for instance in regards to healing we see the process of when we applied medicine onto a wound and bandaged it and we saw the wound scab until it eventually fully healed. However, when we pray to God for healing, we can not see the process, from when our message reaches heaven to when its petitioned for by Christ , to when it is transferred onto a ministering angel until the wound is completely healed. So it makes it difficult have faith in kneeling in prayer.

God’s plan for every believer is to synergise prayer and raise together maximum results. Separately they are powerful an render amazing results, but when combined they are literally earth shaking (Acts 16:25)

Praying Christian is a dangerous Christian– WHY??!!– a praying Christian is a christian who has cultivated an intimate relationship with the Father. In mine and probably your own view, it is difficult to trust someone’s words whe you have never met them before this is why contracts are made should someone not follow their word, however, with a friend or family if they say they will do it you trust their words because you know them bettr , you see them on a frequent basis. When you commune with the Father often it becomes easier to trust His word and trust in a process that your physical eyes can not

“When we pray we fellowship with God by telling Him our needs, or the needs of others. When we praise Him, we are telling Him that we believe our needs are met according to His Word”

Ps Apologies for spelling and grammar mistakes

Confessions of a Christian II

Confessions of a Christian II

I have been thinking a lot recently about the story of Paul and his companion whilst they were in Prison. In Lesson 8 Psalmody International school of worship level 2, Tom Inglis draws parallels between the actions of Paul and his companion whilst in prison with what is written in the book of psalms. It made me realise how in sync their worship was to the bible and how much they had an understanding of the book of the bible to know what to do whilst in bondage and know-how and when best to praise and worship. It got me thinking of how little I know the book of Psalms let alone the Bible to be able to act upon the actions of my predecessors.

Starting with Jesus was created 9 months ago and the more I’ve written on this blog the more ill-prepared and ill-equipped I have felt regarding my relationship with God. The arrogance I once had to have believed myself to be better than where I was last year has with time dissipated and what’s left is a certain humility that makes you realise how little I know about God or the Bible.