Confessions of a Christian II

Confessions of a Christian II

I have been thinking a lot recently about the story of Paul and his companion whilst they were in Prison. In Lesson 8 Psalmody International school of worship level 2, Tom Inglis draws parallels between the actions of Paul and his companion whilst in prison with what is written in the book of psalms. It made me realise how in sync their worship was to the bible and how much they had an understanding of the book of the bible to know what to do whilst in bondage and know-how and when best to praise and worship. It got me thinking of how little I know the book of Psalms let alone the Bible to be able to act upon the actions of my predecessors.

Starting with Jesus was created 9 months ago and the more I’ve written on this blog the more ill-prepared and ill-equipped I have felt regarding my relationship with God. The arrogance I once had to have believed myself to be better than where I was last year has with time dissipated and what’s left is a certain humility that makes you realise how little I know about God or the Bible.

Confessions of a Christian I

Confessions of a Christian I

I have a list of topics and studies that I want to write for this blog, but I often question to what extent I should write them. The problem is not that I don’t have a biblical foundation or prior knowledge of the topics, it is that I’m not practising what is in the bible. What do I mean?

Well I set up this blog in the hopes that it would at least encourage me to pick up the bible and pray more often, it has helped in the Bible department but the initial enthusiasm I had to explore the bible has somewhat faded a little but at least I’m opening it and reading it ( maybe not to study). However, I still find myself with a somewhat non-existent prayer life. I guess compared to where I was last year where the thought of getting on my knees terrified me, not because I thought God was angry with me ( disappointed maybe?) but because I was angry with him and so I felt really awkward to even speak to him. However, now I guess I don’t have the awkwardness of last year but prayer wise and I mean really sitting down to talk to God and not just a passing thought or word that I’ve said to God, but actually spending time with thy maker … that has not happened. I can not even give the excuse that I’m too busy when I know more than anyone that being an adult is about knowing your time and managing it accordingly. A few weeks ago I had taken up crocheting and was desperately trying to crochet a blanket, I would spend my evenings crotcheting and wake up early at 5am to crotchet. Yet when the alarm rings at 5am I can not muster the energy to exercise let alone pray. In the mornings I say I will give at least 10minutes to pray in tongues ( at least my spirit man will be fed something) but even that is usually spent prioritising things that don’t need prioritising so instead I say I will pray on my way to work. However, there is a difference between walking to work and walking to no particular destination… one begins planning for tomorrow and one focuses on the present.

I think the next pebble I have to overcome is that spirit of “But I don’t feel like it” because if Jesus followed his emotions when in the Garden there would be no ‘Starting With Jesus’- TRUTH!

What I am trying to say is Holy spirit, I know you’re a gentleman but I kind of need you to force me into prayer with my Father… So yeah!.